you had a great idea didn't you? - sure did!

you thought you could just pick it up easily, right? - that was the plan :D

then you ordered it online without double checking the delivery date and the postage and packaging price? - yeah ... there was that......



man, sometimes i wonder about you Dave.

preperation for the unprepared

no one told me about this.... all of this. fending for myself, the work load, learning things the hard way... yes, there are good points but the unknown outweigh them in my book usually.... (its a big book).

today i spent 6 hours in a library...working. i know, i know. i wouldnt believe me either but its true. i dont quite know how it took me so long but it did and i woulda stayed longer had the library not been shutting.... thats what scares me. the preperation for a proposal is extreme. it goes in tomorrow however.. then id love to say i have a week of freedom but its not true, its a week of 'lets see what else is due in before christmas'.

i get all the fun... serously, by - the - bucket load!

im going through a bit of a paranoid stage right now.... not specifically this second.... well ok, yes - this second but i just mean recently. theres so many if's and but's in my life. 'what if i dont get my proposal accepted by my tutor?' 'but what if ive got my facts wrong?' 'what if i end up deserting my friends or they become a second priority?' ..... ok, so more if's than but's but you get the idea. but its gettin me nowhere. id love to say i need to chill out but im digging a hole and its gonna be pretty hard to scramble out, especially with one functioning arm at the end of the year....

you can prepare all you want but as far as im concerned, some things life throws at yoy you'll never be ready for..

sometimes i talk....

sometimes i think things in my head and before i realise what ive said its too late. sometimes i say them and want to take t back but know its too late. sometimes i think its worth it for a laugh, then realise it really isnt that funny.

sometimes i should just keep quiet.

anger

i just wrote a really long ... ad in my mind good log. one that cannot be created as in doing so i would be copying history, not simply typing my thoughts. i previewed it and noticed an error so pressed back and lost the whole thing. it is now gone. forever i presume. i dont know whether to laugh or cry.....


....im hungry

4 days at home

so much to do

so little time


never has that expression felt so true.....

Destination of The Evening

In advance, i do not plan on spell checking a thing in this at all. its 4 o'clock and I'm pretty darn drunk. Ive corrected 2 errors already and that's saying a lot!! ... so anyone watched 'Drawn Together' before? its awesome... you should watch it some time.... im watching it while on the pc. I'm gonna watch/listen to it while i make this post. man, im rather inebriated...is that the smart word for drunk? no? i don't think so either. bums.

so tonight i went to seee my friend 'jakob' play a gig (Ive been told not to use names, or at least full names or maybe use nick names when blogging so there you go - i nick named, or did i? who knows? maybe i have a friend called called called jakob, who knows....) anyways, so jakob's gig was good although unfortunately i missed the beginning. made most of it tho and enjoyed it. made my other friend 'Mary' to her friend in his jeep at half past 9 however with no problems as the gig was over by then. she got picked up by then, (picking up a little bit more on her hair than she needed to as it blatantly looked fine) so Mr. marine drove up on his jeep and they sped of into the sunset to spend their days forever in happiness...... OK, so I'm drunk and just tying right now, what actually happened is that they went on their date and i went away with jakob and their mate so that's close enough right?

so then i went back to the girls flat, and talked to my gf while jakob got ready. jakob was ready sooner than both of us would have liked i think however i think though so i had to leave a bot earlier than i wanted to. we left, we mcdonalds' it and we got into our destination on the main street of the city centre.

now the short version: me and jakob, rounds, extra drinks for davus, more rounds, crap dancing, someone actually put up an ambarella dureing rihanna's song 'umbarella', leave, taxi home, bed, tv shows, blog.

so here i am. blogging away.... now i need water, the cure to hangovers. i swear by it every time without fail, i cant stop now..... water it is .... good ole h20........ cant beat it.... if only it wasnt 4:24am!!


so late

you put your right arm out ... you put your right arm out....

yes, thats right i got a letter today. no, im not excited cos i thought i was populor, i think my heart skipped like 20 beats tho cos i thought it was the date of my operation for my arm to stop it dislocationg. weird timing since only this morning i was thinking its been a while since it came out..... i wonder if ill miss it coming out, the routing of 'no no, that needle, ill get the veine, there youe go, can i get another 2 whatever you call its of morphene please?' and wondering if ive drawn the nice or not so nice ambulance crews.

last time i got teresan. thats teresa and ian. they were cool, really nice. didnt force me to put an arm in a sling or anythin which was nice. teresa did call me gay a lot cos i was wearing long pj bottoms and said if she comes out again shes allowed to do it without me complaining which i stupidly agreed to (bloody gas and air will make u do anything and be anybodys i bet!).

anyways, so this letter - bold letters - 22 november 2007, panic strikes me. then i realise it was only a pre op assessment. its ok then. ill probably get the real operation just in time for my birthday. happy 22nd Dave, now you cant move for 6 months!! no going out, .... wait, i was about to make a list. but ive just realised how much my social life is gonna fall here, i barely have one as it is. fuck, im actually gonna be house bound with an arm in a sling, jesus. im gonna have to be like one of those creepy neighbours kids are scared to get their football from when it goe sinto their garden! 'run, its old man dave!' they'll shout as i come running out with my rake (in my left arm).

ok, a bit dramatic but lets think about this, long term yay - even tho the doc has done '2 or 3' operations like this as its apparently more comonly done in europe, not scotland. stupid lack of bone in my shoulder!! so yeah, 2 or 3 means more 1 or 2 whoch means 1 whch probablhy means he's read the theory. hell, ive read the theory!! .. buuuuuuuuut, he is apparently a joint genius, the body panrt joint that is, not any other dodgy kind. people always talk about him being good. its just a lot to go thru at my age.... *suddenly remembers last blog*

im actually shitting it. im talking light heartedly really but im terrified. what if it fucks up? what if they cant fix me? what if i cant finish uni? what if i cant open my christmas presents with one arm????

act your age, not your shoe size

by my title id have to be acting between almost 22 instead of between of ten and eleven...... thats probably where my mentality is right now. well, not right now. i dont know what just happened, but i feel my age. everyone worries about ageing, about turning the dreaded 19..... about leaving the teen years behind them, then apparently life only starts at 21. you hear all the ways out of people actually growing old gracefully. i mean jesus, look at hulk hogans wife! the phrase 'mutton dressed as lamb' comes to mind with that one.

i dont think i act like a different person, i think i am who i am, but theres this part at the back of my head thats just said to me 'come on dave, time to grow up a bit'. my friends who are younger than me have requested i dont change so that they have someone to be immature with, but i hope im not intentionally being immature. i hope im just being 'Dave'.

don't worry, i dont think im peter pan and that ill never grow up, but at 21 i think ive still got a few years of banter left in me havent i? ive had and lost a lot of friends over the years and i never really understood why as i didnt think i was changing, but the friends i have now are great - i wish i saw them more to be honest and as far as i can tell they like me for me .... dont you? so why when i see people younger than me do they seem so much smarter, more classy, and when they look at me - just being me i get the feeling that they cant wait to see the back of me?

sure, i dance like a ...... well i cant dance, i probably speak a bit much sometimes and im possibly the most paranoid person in the world (thus this entire blog) but there must be smething people like about that, or at least they look past all that crazy shit to see some good qualities ive got hidden way back there.

maybe i need reassurance...... then again, maybe i just need a drink, i have been working quite hard.

the arches and the library

'here, i want you to have drank all of thin by the time we're back' my friend said to me.....

suddenly i realise how much alcohol was in the bottle i was holding and how when we go out im drunk and everyone else is either only merry or reeeeeeeeeeeally good at concealing their drunkness. yes, drunkness - thats right.

so i drink a bit, sall the while thining to myself 'Dave, you really are comedy value .... but at what cost? is it really worth it when you wipe ketchup off your face with a chip just to eat it? (ask lewis, colleen or joelle), is running home alone with your hands over your ears cos your in a huff really that fun? and you do buy people a lot of drinks .... thats never good on the old wallet!

we get back, i put the vodka down and i pick the strongbow up. sorted. although someone keeps topping up my glass, i think someone's trying to get me drunk tonight!!

walk. bank. money. walk. queue. searched. pay in. bar.

the drinking begins........ thats where it gets hazy, bar lewis spilling a drink on me, but that was partly my fault so i cant really complain i guess.

cloakroom. colleens cardigan. goodbye's. out. taxi. fell off seat. in. curry. bed.



then i woke up and to my delight realised i had a class in half an hour. oh how i laughed.... no no, i mean cried..... but its sorted now. kinda. but seriously. i missed a one off class. im so bloody stupid sometimes, but hey, no hangover - i gotta say, its a talent :D

so here i sit, doing work for my dissertation and typing .... to myself, someone else will read it one day and comment - or criticise, eithers good. ive already said my grammar and spelling is shite so dont expect me to change that any time soon. im a community education student, i talk to people, and if i see people drawing graffiti on a wall im gonna be askin them why their doing it - not why their spelling 'glasgow rules' wrong!!

questions questions questions

i started today quite well really, by that i mean i showered successfully. after that i left the house, realised i hadn't turned my pc off, ran back upstairs, left again, got to cally uni and realised id left my wallet behind... its great to be Dave.

my meting went well though, i just havent done anything with the information i recieved in the last hour. maybe it has something to do with the fact that im distracted by the fact that my friend only seems to want to keep in touch lately when it suits them. it hurts really. i dont think they realise it to be honest, so i dont really place any blame, but it makes me feel lonely.

in advance, i dont know why im doing this... i might never give anyone the address, i might give everyone the address. i hope im not butting into something that was primaraly an english student thing but if nothing else it will give me a place to vent, write comedy anicdotes and update .... the grammar will suck, as will the spelling, but if that can be worked around. feel free to read on.

suddenly im aware i havent told anyone of this yet as ive just set it up so essentially im talking to myself..... ill stop typing now...