one armed me

you might say sometimes writing blogs is hard - you cant think what to type, you lose your trail of thought, you get your arm bone broken in half before bent backwards and screwed in a new place and get stitched back up leaving you in a sling..... mines recently has been the last reason. it hurts like a .... well a whole new kinda pain. its like Santa Claus got kicked in his jingle bells or Christmas baubles whichever sounds most fitting to the crude joke. it just bloody well hurts.

the doc says it went accordin to the text book tho (its now impossible ti imagine the op without him asking for the next instruction from 'do it yourself shoulder operations level 2'). oh and i had a creepy ward mate who was, to be blunt, dilusional. if i wasnt taking pain killers to sleep and avoid pain i would've been to avoid him!!

Ive been out about a week now and the big 22 is coming. no, not a bus. my birthday. and its not that big, but its there, making me older than my fellow..... fellows once again. not more mature. god no! i hope. but older to be sure. and with no plans for new year i really gotta sort somethin soon cos i cannot stay in with my mum and dad.....ill just flat out cry!!

anyways, apologies for the absence readers..... all 4 of u if im lucky, this includes myself. and also for the lack of communication recently and lastly for such a damn depressing blog!!


happy note to end on: i watched 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' last night. its now in my top 5 films. i highly reccommend it to anybody!

the mocha, the blog and the essay

i doubt this blog will be long but i wanted to write one quickly in true 'settling in to studying' style. ive got loads to do recently - but thats good, thats really good. it means i can keep myself occupied, idle hands and all that. as long as my minds occupied im not thinking about my arm, its at the back of my mind as everything is revolving around it, work, social life etc but it means im studying and keeping busy for now. hell, on the morning i go in im going to go to class to keep myself occupied.... is that commitment or just weird? you decide....

right now im gonna go over work for an essay, ive got a meeting for extentions on tuesay but if i can prove that im committed to the course and ive made a good start by the time i meet my tutor hopefully she'll be happy to help me out. im not a total slacker afterall.... slacker? yes. but not TOTAL slacker. ah, suddenly im reminded of back to the future and how the principal always called marty mcfly a slacker.... wasnt marty so cool? i actually got a skateboard as a kid just so i cold pretend to be him you know, i'd stand infront of the tv and pretend to be skating along like the pro mcfly was ..... (note to self: try not to go off on tangents ever again if this is how they are going to go)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways, so new year should be fun..... as long as someones havin a house party, i love my parents to bits but think im at the age now where wanna hang with my mates at new year and with a tender shoulder a club prob isnt my best bet... pub might not be so bad but im not gonna have a night in edinburgh's street party this year unfortunately i dont think. man, i hope someones havin a house party so i can see everyone again and celebrate the new year in a druken, yet careful fashion :P

well kids and kiddettes i guess i should sign out and do some work...


th - th - th - th - th - th - th - th - th - hats all folks

p.s. just cos im listenin to rihanna doesnt make me gay, i dont care what you say!

like a band aid...

Unlike the title, my wait wasn’t quick. it was 3 hours of going back and forth to get different tests done, x rays, measurements, questions asked and seeing my doctor. All in the name of a pre-operative assessment apparently.

so I sit there and i'm asking the questions that vie mentally scribbled into my brain, losing one or two as I get answers i’m not sure I expected until finally I ask when we're going ahead with this thing.

A week on Wednesday he says. I shook a little at the thought of it approaching so soon. after I got told the risks - half a percentage of infection, a very slim percentage of the operation not working etc etc - I signed my soul away and was comforted by the fact that he admitted that although being a highly admired doctor in his field, he has never done this particular operation before.... which doesn’t really explain why he told me he'd done it 2 or 3 times last time we spoke. the crowd of eager nurses and students around me listening to how they're going to saw some bone, bend it and screw it in place somewhere else also made me slightly uneasy if i’m honest but according to my mum 'it'll help them all learn so the operation can be done on other people'..... I wonder if she realises that that’s all well and good but right now i’m worried about me.

So here I am, with a little under 2 weeks to get my university career, housing benefits, life, and room in order..... It’s a tough job but if I don’t do it now then ill be screwed later!!


Afterthought: at least I got a shiny new phone on an upgrade today, I guess things aint so bad!