its a crazy ole world

nobody knows it but you've got a secret side and you use it only for me.

yes, technically it should be secret smile but recently theres this other side of you im seeing. its different, angrier, louder, less communicative, somehow stronger and when your with me your one person but when we're apart i wonder if your another.

the side i see when your with me is just like it used to be, i sometimes think im the only ones who knows who you really are. when just the 2 of us hang out things dont seem to have changed at all, but when i imagine you moving on and see how much things have really changed over the last month i realise that maybe your changing because you want to, maybe its because you have to, or maybe its because its time.

i never saw a gap growing so vast though, if i jump now i might just make it to the other side. if i stay here im bound to be hurt and never be free. what hurts me is that i want to know what happens next, what happens in the next chapter of this big book we're all living in every day and will the gu and the girl get back together or will they realise it was never meant to be?

lyrics and the girl

These words get to me - 'your all i want, your all i need, your everything' - its a song i like. it used to have meaning. it follws by saying 'how can i stand her with you and not be moved by you, can you tell me how could it be any better than this?'

it now kills me every time i hear it, but i cant stop listening. i cant focuss. im actually different, and i dont know what to do. the songs lyrics were just lyrics once, taken from smallville of all things! a scene where clark longed for lana's love as she was so close yet so far, they became something different though when i shared the song with someone else.

i took the song for my own unique song and enjoyed it, i shared it with someone one night and it soon became a shared song. now i listen to it alone, i listen to it as i type, as i work and i reminise. it makes me think of what once was and what i know never will be again. i thought things had worked out for the best but i began to miss the one i shared the song with recently. im not so sure they miss me however and soon i will know for sure that they dont and it will take a lot of water to rehydrate me to keep the tears flowing.

i used to think this was a song i would share forever but now i think its something i will have to listen to alone. i dont want to but i cant sway opinions, i cant force the hand of another and i cant change what was meant to be. i want the one who used to love this song to be happy most of all. i wanted it to be with me, even when we were apart i knew i did but i tried to get on. what i cant stand is the thought of another song being shared, another tune for her to dance to in the moonlight, another beat in the background where she is happy with someone else.

it might be too late for me, but one out of two isnt bad. i wont like it, but if she needs to forget the lyrics i will have to learn to aswell...