yeah, you really got me now... you got me so i dont know what im doin....

stress that is. up till today i was doin ok, i know ive been focusing on my operation a lot but i still felt pretty in control of my life and the stress. today however i couldn't type a thing work-wise. i could read and high light.... do things that didnt involve progression in my actual essay but whenever i tried to really focus i couldnt. i found myself thinking not really about the operation itself but the aftermath. how im gonna do certain things, dress, eat, reach, brush my teeth, shave. theres people out there with arms missing so i gotta be able to work it out for a few months!

i brightened up the day for a few moments by texting vibe. he replied saying i had the text of the week.... it took my mind off the problems off the arm for a bit but then reality kicked in again and i realised i was actually shaking with ..... fright? dread? fear of the unknown? as time is drawing closer im obviously just getting a lot less comfortable with the fact that im gonna be the one armed man for a while and that combined with the mass amount of pills i take already (in regards to epilepsy) and any other pain killers i may be on i quite possibly will shake with every step i take..... squeaky shoes aint got nothin on me!!

so lets put a good turn on this blog... things could be worse... at least you flat mate didnt just say the words

'90% profit sex-ual!' ...... god that freaked me out.....

to clarify he got a hat for a quid and hes selling it for a tenner... but still, i didnt need to hear him say that sentence *shudders*