the three P's

Pub

jane just called me, she was drunk, at least she said she was.... and when i asked who she was talking to (knowing it was a friend i may add) she felt the need to point out that she was with friends and not drinking alone....... as we all know, when jane drinks alone she doenst spend money doing it in a piub anyways, she just stays at home with the good ole vodka and coke, why go to a pub for that!......

i am of course kiddin, amen't i? ok, before she hits me...... i am, but i also have to point out that when i told her i her i was in the library she asked if she woke me, i guess this could be blamed on my strangely quiet voice i was using however, i just like to think shes drunk tho, and apparently going to the opera (i think she said theatre but opera is funnier).

i havent seen jane in what seems like ages but to tell you the truth i havent seen anybody really, my work is consuming me .... wait....... *thinks for a minute* no, my work has been piling up, ive been distracting myself and ive had no time. thats more accurate and my new timetable for placement aint much better.

Placement

dont get me wrong, im enthusiastic, but its gonna be hard work!! my timetables gettin a bit packed, they're expecting proffessional work outta me and to meet deadlines - not to mention a minimum of 2 evening sessions with a basic 35-40 hour week unpaid.

but i gotta say, 2 days in i feel good about it. my placement supervisor especially and another guy have been especially supportive, ive told them how i work best and told them about the 'whole epilepsy thing' and they're really cool, not that people shouldnt be but you'd be surprised how some people can react. im gettin to take charge in certain sessions and get fully involved in everything i do..... bar the fact that a couple of people seem to hate me its pretty sweet! but hey, whats a bit of hate in an office dedicated to working together to help the youths of today??

Pretentious

anyways, if my good looks dont win them over my winning smile is sure to.... and if that fails ill just work really hard or something like that.....

anyways..... off to work for Dave....

dear diary

sorry for the vast amount of pictures recently folks, just thought it was a cool way to remember some good times from home and pass some time. again, books are open and no work is done so in a minute ill get round to it but ill type for a few minutes first i think.

ive realised of late how much of a diary this thing is for me, an open diary granted, im not sharing vital information either but im not exactly showing an interesting read like some others ive looked at. im a bit repetitive, i guess i just repeat things..... repeating things is just what i do best i suppose ..... (ok baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad joke! bad dave... bad!)

i rekon its cs im doin the same things, library, distraction, work, convince myself ive done more than i have, same struggle again the next day. it all comes down to a first time pass this year too cos if i dont i dont get to do the whole 'look at me, im graduating in a gown' thing. if i pass second time im cool but i gotta just get my certificate through the post and skip graduation. how pants is that? ive worked... and when i say worked, i mean been at uni...... 3 years all for a hope that i might pass first time and its not that likely to be honest. if i do though, im gonna stand out from the crowd.

*whats that you say? i already do?* well thank, but i mean REALLY stand out, that gown of mine is gonna have a superman logo sewn on the back. sure, some people wont find it funny, my parents will probably kill me, but think of the photos!! i could go extreme and go batman style but i dot fancy wearing the mask on my face too, without the hat thing id be there in a second but i thin just the superman symbol will suffice. ...... ah, they'll be so glad to get rid of me.

its amazing what comes o you when you just type sometimes isnt it?

its just worrying that thats what came to me... most people would continue a story about their fears, and sure, they're way up there, ive got loads. i do want the whole gown thing as trivial as it is cos i remember my sister graduating and posing in er gown for a photo for a laugh.... but instead i pretend ill go as superman.........

i need a drink

you guys rock!!

WHAT COMES BEFORE PART B??

PART A!!

my frustration

im all organised... at least thats how it looks to the untrained eye. im god at manipulating people in that sense. if you didnt know any better id seem like a guy abiut to get on with a shit load of work .... pardon my french (although shit in french is mered, or merde - either way it should be pardon my cursing, not pardon my french).

anyways, ive got books out, ive sorted them into categories, ive got a mocha (of course), bottle of water, pad and pen the question and a photo copy i can make notes on, im infron of my laptop aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand i just spent the last hour online. in fairness it was semi productive, part of it was trying to find my gf a valentines day present, part of it was sending an email to someone at epilepsy scotland following up an interview the other day.... some of it was just plain bumming around. and here i am now. looking at all my organisation and realisin how frustrating it is to know that ten minutes is all it would really take to get into my work and feel good about a start to something due in next week and im so annoyed at myself that i cant do it.

yes, i am indeed one of these people who will spend more time making up a time table than following it and more time chosing books that getting them out cos when i have them out i take quotes from them and complain about how they dont count towards my word count.

but when life gets you down i just remember the life and times of jd and his vivid imagination..... pictures ike this make me smile......

when 99 red balloons go pop!

me first

my hands are above the keys for a minute before i start to type. i need a break and figure ill write something natural but then i think to myself 'is it natural if i have to think about it?'. i pause.

i start to type before i know whats coming out and the words start to flow, my arm twinges a little as ive had to take the sling off in order to be able to type at all.... it hurts but it had to be done. i pull the keyboard a little closer to save any further pain. i sip at my mocha, its mildly warm now but i still like it, its keeping me alert and alert is what i need to be, the work load is vast and the metaphorical weight on my shoulders is even heavier. the mocha keeps me standing and keeps me going.

i look around and wonder what everyone else is doing, emails? work? random internet sites their friends told them to check out, leaving comments to their friends in the hope that they'll get a reply before they have to get back to something productive? all things ive tried so i dont see why other people wouldnt be doing it.

i reach for my phone to check the time but then think its better to not know, better to just work and see how much i get done in the time i have, maye ill work faster that way i kid myself.

i have 2 watches at home and wear neither as i have y phone, when my friends battery died the other day he had no control over time unless someone kept him updated, maybe i should wear a watch i think..... i havent wore one in years but i could probably pull it off, besides - image is what you make it. you dont have to worry about what other people think of you in something, if you think it looks good, it looks good. as long as it isnt a 'salmon' shirt - its not salmon, its pink. trust me, its just another word for pink. it doesnt show your feminine side, you just look daft!

my soulder twinges again as i check a message and someones phone ironically sings 'please dont stop the music' as they hurridly stop the music in embaressment.

i like that note to end on.

my rant

so im still working on my dissertation, ive gotta send another 2 essays in and finish a youth work essay too...... all by friday. the girl behind me just said 'its all very organised'. just what im not. bugger. this blog will be random, its my quick escape from reality, where ill speak about reality but you know what i mean. i just need a break from work.

there were no tables upstairs so im downstairs at the library, my laptop is on my lap, for lie the frirst time ever, weird how they call them that but no one ever really has thm on their laps isnt it?

my arm hurts, it should be in the sling but then i cant type. then im screwed, im impressed tho cos its half one nd ive got the whole day ahead of me still to work. lots to do but loadsof time to do it.

speaking of listening to other people's conversations.... im not meaning to but its funny what you pick up when they dont think your listening, ve heard talk about work, exams, where classes are, std's...... you know - the usual. kinda off putting. i'd put on my headphones if this wasnt so damn entertaining, and they cud be reading this blog right now but you know what, then all id have to say is that they're just as nosy as i am, and id get n at them for banging my chair. stupid girls with their chatting and moving. think their so cool..... but their not. oh yeah, and you know when your ttypin and u assume you know whats goin on from the corner of your eye but you dont really wanna stare. the black guy next to me turned out to be an old white guy...... he's either some kinda morphing guy, he moved and another dude sat down or i need more mocha!!

so, anyone wanna write about critical pedagogy for me? anyone? anyone at all? nope....


well ill go then, someones gotta do it.