Status

its different amongst different people and different groups. i think ive noticed this a lot more recently though.

if you meet new people you technically have a chance to start off fresh, be someone new and act like someone thats the opposite of who you were or even are to other people to meet new and different people but i dont think ive ever done this. people have even told me that they're happy that university hasn't changed me and that im still myself, or when they hang out with my friends or im with them and their friends that im never anyone but myself.saying that, and bringing me back to the point of this blog, my status with different people, and groups is completely different in different places and situations.

at home im generally kinda guy who'll chat to anyone, have a laugh and do anything for his mates. i maybe even try too hard sometimes and get on my friends nerves because of this. the last sentance might also show i have a hint of paranoia in my system. im a genuine person who says what i feel unless it will make things harder for other people i care about and as much as i try to, i do end up arguing with my family quite a lot - probably because we're alike for different reasons and i sometimes do things they dont like me doing.

i think what makes me stand out is that ill talk a lot of crap and acknowledge it. ill laugh at my own expense because sarcasm is in my nature, i cant be expected to take the mick out of other people and not have it done in return. i adopted the name 'special dave' a while back which crops up again every so often because i talk a lot of crap, but i mean well.... but i will stand up for any of my mates who dont wanna cause trouble by doing it themselves if i feel something should be said. some people like that and wish they could, other people think im interfering. and im not afraid to apologise if i realise im in the wrong. why lose a friend over something that was my fault or could be easily resolved i figure.

at uni i gave it a shot, i mean i graduated but i think i was seen as someone who could fit in anywhere. which was true but by doing so i never made any long term friends unfortunately, everyone had fallen into permanent groups by the time i had realised it had happened. it didnt stop me hanging out, but it probably did make me distance myself a bit. at classes my status, or at least portrayed and therefore maybe the status i then projected to everyone else was that of a person who was willing to learn, but probably wasnt as experienced as some other people. this however did lead to me studying for assessments much further ahead than anyone else i knew and i only had 2 resits in my life at university which was better than expected.

university life however was different for me. i met a lot of people. some single serving, some long lasting and hopefully a few will be life long. I act to them no different than i do to my friends back home. the only difference may be that when i went to Glasgow i started drinking more, and if anything, my confidence has raised. i think i have helped some new friends gain more confidence in themselves also because of this and many of these newly acquired companions have been allies in many a house party or night at the union..... or both. I have a few different affectionate nicknames now which range from 'tit' to 'legend', contradictory but compassionate all the same.... or at least i like to think so.

hopefully all the above people will be waiting for me as friends to have more parties and have more nights out (or in) when i return form my spontaneous 2 month trip which i am going on early next month, cos if they're not ill have somethin to say about it!

which brings me onto my last and final point. i am away out of Scotland for 2 months shortly. another chance within my 22 year old life to change myself, change who i am, be someone else to impress the many or the few, to suit my surroundings and fit in. instead i will be myself and stick to my guns, i might stick out (im Scottish and ill be wearing a kilt every so often, of course ill stick out) but this could be a positive or negative thing. but either way im going to have a great time. ive had one so far, why change things for the 2 months im away?

in true rob style... thought of the day: the past has already happened and the future doesnt exist yet, all we can do is deal with the present