All Because of You

I dont hate you for who y0u are. I hate you for what you're doing to me. Inside, deep inside it hurts now. Its like something burning that wont go away, like a fire that keeps getting more fuel added to it; bringing the flames higher and higher.

You did this, you knew it would hurt but you did it anyway. 'Nice guys finish last', a song i stand by. Do the right thing and you lose, help a friend and you lose, save someone from hurting and you end up getting hurt.

Why now? Everything was starting to make sense at last. Life, work, friends, interviews. Finally my life might be on track. But its not about my life is it. Its about how your life has affected mine.
Someone once told me that love is defined as 'how you make another person feel about themself'. I used to think i done that job pretty well. Maybe i was wrong. I used to think i was loved. Maybe i was wrong - and now you. You made me see the light, with subtle changes i realised what you had done to me, intentional or not. You're not really to blame, i hold no real grievanc'es against you personally - more you as a symbol to what you may now have that i never will.

But thats my nice guy syndrome kicking in, not hating the person, hating the action 'hate the sin, love the sinner' as it were. Well I do hate the sin, I've lost a lot in my life and I have moved on. Today I need to make a choice about what my next step is, do I continue and ignore my internal monologue of paranoia and keep a friend or do i save myself?