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Monday, 19 May 2008

The Person You See Before You

i'd wear my heart on my sleeve, but where has that got me? a heart out of place and a messy shirt, thats where. vulnerable, out of control and unhappy.

i'd be honest if i only knew how, this persona you all see isnt really me, its who you like to see, its who i like to see. the real me is hidden below layers. oh, im in here but it would take more than a telescope to see deep enough to find me.

im lonely, you dont know that though. no one does. im fine really, 'happy happy happy', i say with anguish eating at me. drinking to forget, watching something to escape reality. avoiding evertything to escape the truth that is my life.

its not all badthough, so dont shed a tear for me. i always pull through somehow. life finds a way. i find a way. im a sociable character who sometimes mixes with the wrong crowd, does the right thing for the wrong reasons or thew wrong thing for the right, im scared of the poast and look forward to the future while at the same time i cant bear to think whats infront of me.

im human, just like you. but not like you.

its a curious things really isnt it? life i mean. everything can suddenly go so fast that it seems to go past before you have a chance to join in. thats what seems to have happened to me. im i it now, i have a role, a part to play. i didnt chose it, it chose me. so here i am, living my life, sometimes a day at a time, sometimes a week, sometimes a minute seems like an hour and this 22 year old feels ready for retirement before he's even been hired.

'why...?' i feel inclined to ask..... 'why me?'

7 comments:

*jemima* said...

Dave, hang tight in there, been there and and its really really really tough but just hang on, it will get better soon. And don't drink heavily, I tried that and its just bleurgh, makes things worser. x

Be My Distraction said...

haha, thyanks.....and im not really drinking .... that was just for effect x

*jemima* said...

Thank goodness! x

Be My Distraction said...

.....or is that the drink talking??

*jemima* said...

Is it?!
I hope not!
*beats Dave with walking stick*

Be My Distraction said...

hahaha, its not....... usually.... this game could go on forever so lets confirm. its not. it was for effect, i am fond of the drink and the baterous night out. but not alone. that'd just make me lonely


p.s. *ducks to avoid walking stick*

*jemima* said...

*puts walking stick away*